Picture this.
It's cold. It's wet. You've just come in from a brisk coastal walk round Wain's Hill and your nose is glowing like a McGill Scotsman's and you are knackered. You want food and you want it sooner rather than later. At a time like this you need warming through from the inside.
Something simple and tasty with chilli fits the bill perfectly, the heat tailored to your own personal taste, from just enough chilli to make you gently glow like a supermodel in a tanning booth to enough to make the next day's appointment with the Armitage feel like a reenactment of the murder of Edward II. Add some comforting carbs to fill up the corners and you are truly sorted.
Potato and chickpea masala (for 2 people)
Ingredients
1 large baking potato per person, or as much as you can comfortably eat - it's your dinner after all
1 can chickpeas
2 large ripe tomatoes
1 or more onions - up to you
as much garlic as you like
30 mls vegetable oil
2tbs tomato puree
2 tsp mustard seeds
2tsp turmeric powder
about a dozen curry leaves, fresh or dried
2 tsp cumin seeds
chilli - as much as you feel is enough - can be fresh, dried, flaked or cayenne, but NOT chilli powder
salt and pepper
water
Method
Before you do anything else, jack up the heating, put some music on and pour yourself a glass of whatever you like. Cooking is supposed to be enjoyable.
Let's get the drudgery out of the way:
Peel the potatoes if you must or just scrub them if you value the nutrients/roughage contained in the skins or even if you just can't be arsed. Cut them into small cubes.
Don't even think about skinning the tomatoes. Quarter them, discard the pulp and chop them into bits.
Peel and chop the onions.
Drain and rinse the chickpeas (why are they packed in something that looks as if it came out of a toddler's nose?)
Peel and chop the garlic.
After all that hard slog, you may need another glass of whatever poison you are on. *
Lets get this show on the road.
Heat the oil in a saute pan or similar and fry the mustard and cumin seeds until all hell breaks loose, manifested by seeds popping and flying out of the pan.
Add the turmeric and curry leaves and fry for about a minute, stirring.
Add the onions and garlic and soften until transparent.
Lob in the potatoes and fry until cubes start to brown.
At this point, chuck in the chickpeas, chilli, chopped tomatoes and tomato puree.
Stir well and add enough water to come level with the contents of the pan. Now is the time to add as much salt and ground black pepper as you enjoy.
Cover the pan and turn the heat down. Cook until the potatoes are just tender. If it looks runny, jack the heat up and cook rapidly, stirring gently, until a dryish mix remains.
Serve, garnished with fresh coriander if you like colour and the taste of Fairy Liquid, accompanied with such pickles as you enjoy and either rice or chapati. Personally I think chapati are better with this dish. You can reheat those you have already made by hand and frozen, hem-hem, or use any commercial brand. If not hand-made by Indians, they are at least made in factories owned by Indians, so they are going to be good. They do taste tons better if you ignore all microwave instructions and just heat them in a hot dry frying pan until they get burnt speckles on them. The amount of burnt speckling deemed acceptable will, of course, depend on how many glasses you have had during the cooking.
This meal always goes down well and will thrill vegetarians while not leaving carnivores wondering when the real dinner is coming.
In the time it has taken me to type this, you could have cooked it - 30 mins tops. GO!
*Despite recent warnings that alcohol is more dangerous than crack cocaine, I would suggest that your dinner is less likely to spoil if you stick to a couple of glasses of Sauvignon Blanc. Everyone knows that crack cocaine, though moreish, does tend to reduce appetite and what is the point of making a dinner you can't eat?
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